You just found out your coworker is attending a funeral. Maybe it’s for a parent, a sibling, or a close friend. Your first instinct is to say something supportive—but then the blank screen stares back at you. What do you write without sounding awkward or intrusive? That hesitation is completely normal. A thoughtful message doesn’t have to be original or poetic. Using a sample or a letter template as a starting point isn’t cheating—it’s a smart shortcut. It gives you the structure, tone, and key phrases you need, leaving room for your own personal touch.

This type of message falls under the category of workplace condolences, where you need to balance professionalism with genuine empathy. Whether you’re sending a printed card, an email, or a quick Slack message, the core goal is the same: let your coworker know you care without adding pressure or forcing a conversation.

Start with a simple salutation and a clear purpose

The opening of your message doesn’t need to be elaborate. A direct, kind salutation works best—“Dear [Name],” or “Hi [Name],” if you’re on email terms. Then state your purpose plainly: “I heard you’ll be attending the funeral for your [relation] and wanted to send you my sincere sympathy.” Avoid rambling or hedging. Your coworker is likely overwhelmed already; a clear, warm opening is a relief.

Choose the right tone based on your relationship

If you’re close colleagues who joke around daily, you can be a bit warmer—use their first name, mention a specific memory if it fits, and keep the tone conversational. For a more formal or distant coworker, stick with professional correspondence style: “Please accept my deepest condolences during this difficult time.” The key is to match the level of formality you already use at work. If you wouldn’t call them “dude” in a meeting, don’t do it here. For more on balancing tone, see our guidelines for writing meaningful grief correspondence.

Personalize without overstepping

This is where the sample becomes your springboard. Take a basic phrase like “thinking of you” and add one specific detail. For example: “Thinking of you and your family this week. I remember you mentioning how much your dad loved fishing—I hope that memory brings some comfort.” That shows you listened and cares, without pretending to know their grief. If you don’t have a personal detail, a simple “I’m sorry you have to go through this” is enough. Never press for details or ask intrusive questions—keep the focus on support, not curiosity.

Common mistakes to avoid: using outdated salutations like “To whom it may concern” (you know their name), ignoring the medium (a printed letter has different formatting than an email—see our tips on opening condolence letters), and forgetting to proofread. A typo in a sympathy note can feel careless. Read it aloud once before sending.

Offer specific, low-effort help if you’re close

If your coworker will be out of the office for the funeral, a short note like “Let me know if you need anything covered while you’re away—happy to handle your part of the project” is practical and kind. But don’t say “let me know if you need anything” as a throwaway line—it puts the burden on them. Instead, suggest something concrete: “I’ll bring lunch by the office next Tuesday if you’re back.” That’s actionable and shows real care. For more on workplace etiquette during bereavement, check our guide on appropriate language for death in an office setting.

End with a gentle closing

Close on a note that respects their space. “With sympathy,” “Thinking of you,” or “Warmly” work well. Avoid overly cheerful phrases like “Best wishes” or “Hope you’re okay soon.” Grief isn’t on a timeline. A simple closing followed by your full name (or just first name, depending on your relationship) is clean and respectful.

You might also need to write a message for a coworker who lost a childhood friend—that situation feels different. We have a sample letter for loss of a childhood friend that can help you adjust the tone accordingly. And if the coworker is a step-sibling or blended family member, the same principles apply—just acknowledge the relationship specifically: “I’m so sorry for the loss of your stepbrother.” See our condolence letter for step-sibling loss for phrasing ideas.

Remember: your message doesn’t need to be perfect. Your coworker isn’t grading it. They’ll appreciate that you took the time to acknowledge their loss and their absence. Use a sample to beat the blank-page anxiety, then add your own genuine warmth. Next time you need to write something similar, it’ll feel less daunting—and you’ll already have a template you trust.